


selfishness and the art of growing up

by newyorktopaloalto



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-24
Updated: 2012-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-16 23:46:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newyorktopaloalto/pseuds/newyorktopaloalto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn't want to let him go, didn't want to be alone, couldn't handle being alone after all the years they were together. How could he cope? But— he couldn't hurt him anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	selfishness and the art of growing up

**Author's Note:**

> Because not all OTPs end on a happy note.

It wasn’t meant to be this way— this twisting and turning in his stomach as he attempted to breathe and realized that he couldn’t. He knew that what he did was wrong, but he couldn’t think of any other way to keep him and that’s all he ever wanted, them to be together. So he lied, pretended, and smiled, trying not to hate himself more than he already did. 

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered in his head— a million times as he continued to natter on, ignoring the pain he knew he was putting the other man through. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ 

Obviously not sorry enough, however, as he went on, ever smiling, ever ignoring the pain he was inflicting. He went on and on, trying to be perfect, trying to do what he wanted, trying to be the person that would make him stay. He wasn’t going stay. He was going to leave and he was going to leave him alone. 

“Rufioh,” he stated, interrupting his own tirade. 

“Uh…” came the voice of the other, noticing his changed demeanor. 

He would be alone, he would be miserable, but he needed to stop hurting him. Hurting Rufioh was the last thing that he wanted to do, and he had let it go on long enough. Time to stop being selfish. 

“I think we should see other people,” he mumbled, still keeping a smile on his face— disregarding the blue tears leaking down his goggles, not sweat, but enough to power a machine for a long while, he presumed. 

“Oh…” 

He was obviously surprised, but there was a hastily covered bit of happiness in his eyes that was tell-tale. 

“Goodbye Rufioh, maybe we will run into each other once more— when we are both ready again.” 

And with that he leaned up, placed a gentle kiss on his matesprit’s lips— Rufioh would never be anything but, and walked away. 

He wasn’t going to look back, he wasn’t, he— Rufioh was gone. 

A sob lodged in his throat as he leaned against the large blue tree, the memories of initials they had carved still rough under his fingertips. Fucking dream bubbles, everything was real if you believed it to be. 

“I love you,” he whispered to no one, closing his eyes and trying to breathe.


End file.
